I got an "A" in anatomy & physiology. Yet I am wondering exactly how many muscles I have in my shoulders, neck, back, arms, body. It feels like I have 553 in my right arm & shoulder alone. It hurts to hug even daughter, all whopping 27 pounds of her. Unfortunately they are all interested in hugs. Maybe because they missed me yesterday (11 hours of work!), maybe because they know I hurt so they are hugging me because they are secretly sadistic torturers.
I mentioned I was hurting, very early this morning, while I was trying to get out of bed, I had to pee. Daughter was tucked in tight, hum0ngous heavy head on my arm, on my right and squareboy was at my left zuburting my stomach making my need to pee even greater. I explained that, while I love them, they needed to STOP. "Why?" they asked in unison. I'm thinking I'm too soft on them. Still, true to my parenting style, I explain about how muscles lose their strength when all you do is cook, laundry, mop, sweep, vacuum, pick-up and hug. And then they hurt when you go back to work moving fine china (fine!?! my a-money-money. that stuff is heavy as hell) and crystal. Daughters head stayed on the 553 muscles of my right arm, squareboy zuburted my stomach again. I need to find a new parenting style.
Luckily the dad got up (probably something to do with me yelling STOP) and made me coffee. They paraded after him squawking like newly-hatched chicks. Hungry. Feed us. Thirsty. Juice. Milk. I rolled over & dangled my legs over the side of the bed & finally got up to pee. Aaaaaaaaaah. By the time I hobbled out of the bathroom (having discovered 392 new muscles in my legs & feet) he met me at the couch w/a fresh, hot cup of absolutely perfect Peet's coffee.
Occasionally I have a funny story to relate that has nothing to do with my kids. Just with me. Yesterday, on my dinner/lunch break from work, I came home made some Peet's and was running out the door, drinking the Peet's, running instructions by the sitter and the coffee went up my nose and out my right nostril. In a very long stream. I bent over trying to keep the coffeesnot off my snowwhite workshirt and let it waterfall all over my not-so-snowwhite carpet. The sitter was very alarmed "Are you all right Ma'am?" Once he realized I was all right and what had happened, he burst out laughing. I had fulfilled my daily mission to inadvertently spread happiness wherever I go.
Back to today, one of my pet peeves is sitting on the couch while one of my children bounces on it and I wind up wearing my coffee. As of this morning I have a new pet peeve. Daughter jumped in my lap, did some twisty-thing w/her body and dipped her hair in my coffee, spun her head (think Exorcist) and flicked coffee everywhere. Thank God we live in an apartment and not our own home. These kids are destructive.
Oh! Have I mentioned that somehow, magically, there is applesauce on the ceiling?
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