Poop-on-a-stick

When we lived in the Land of Ice & Snow, for long, dreary, years, we attended the Minnesota State Fair a couple years running. Not that we are big farm people, but because we'd heard of the many, many different foods-on-a-stick. And the fair did have many foods-on-a-stick. My favorite being the deep-fried dill pickle stuffed with cream cheese. Number Two liked the alligator-on-a-stick and my mom was rather fond of the fried green tomatoes-on-a-stick. We never did try the deep fried snickers bar-on-a-stick though.

Today, in the car, Eldest was yelling at Daughter for me. Because, last night, I'd gone to take my contact lenses out and laying next to my contact lens case were my diamond earrings. Welllll, not so much my diamond earrings as just the diamonds. Hence the yelling. Daughter had taken the jewels out of their settings. How she managed this is beyond me since I've had these earrings for forever (in my world more than 20=forever). Me having something forever is practically unheard of, delicate with my stuff I am not. Therefore I thought these earrings were indestructible. Obviously, I had not counted on daughters ingenuity.

During his yelling spree Eldest layed out his case against Daughter, and in that laying out came across; "and you drank toilet water". This is true. Once when she was five, Squareboy dared Daughter to drink out of the toilet and she did. So of course, Daughter now being six, she is mortified that this fact has been revealed in the crowded public of our minivan and she bursts out screaming. My other kids, all boys, thrive on making her scream and now Squareboy chips in that he had diarrhea that day and she drank his floaties. The brings on more screaming and Eldest joins in. Did I mention that I'm eating a soft taco from Taco Bell right at that moment. I rarely eat Taco's but I lost my glasses on last week's plane ride and in between Dr.'s appointments and picking out glasses I had been starving. Anyway...

The conversation continued onto all the different kind of floaties, how poop would taste going down, how the different poopies would feel going down, how poop looked, etc. etc. etc. This progressed to corn poopies. Apparently corn poopies are very common to the nonflushers at Squareboys school. Eldest, remembering our days in the Land of Ice & Snow the best, turned away from teasing Daughter, the fun is soon over with how easily she screams, and turned to Squareboy. Encouraging him to collect tooth picks, spear the floating corn poopies and offer them to fellow classmates as snacks. Squareboy thinks this is hilarious. I am deathly afraid he'll do it. Poop-on-a-stick. Great.